dumbest mistake I've made in a year

Last year I dropped my motorcycle headlight which cost me $475 to replace so now I've done this.

I was riding the scooter Saturday out to Bang Na and rode through several parades of the red shirts that are protesting the illegal government that is in place here, kinda like how George Bush fucked Al Gore in the ass.

Getting tired of constantly taking my iphone out of my pocket to take pics and video of these parades I then placed it into a deep 6" scooter pocket for easy access. I figured if I had a box of change in there for months and a lock in an even shallower pocket and they never moved; my phone should be safe.

I walked the Central Plaza Mall in Bang Na, enjoyed a cat show for 15 minutes, and had a crappy steak at Santa Fe.

Their $15 dollar imported New Zealand T-bone was so small and lame I went to McDonalds after and enjoyed a double cheeseburger more. Now it was dark.

So I'm hauling ass home and the road has few lights; it was dark. I hit this little whoop-dee-doo construction strip at 60-70 kph. It was the perfect speed and perfect angle that my iphone flew out of the bike but I was too slow to try and catch it. I pulled over to the side and found it in the middle of the road. A car ran over it and it looks like this. $730 wasted.

What shall we learn?

Never put shit in a scooter pocket.

Electronics Show

There's a convention center called Queen Sirikit and they had an electronics show. I really don't care for this sort of junk since I've been to CES 3 times, but my friend wanted to go and I had nothing better to do.

We strolled through for 3 hours and I must have seen over a hundred hot girls. Sadly the iphone didn't allow me to take many photos. Nothing interesting or new by way of electronics as one expects from a poor country like Thailand. There were a lot of show girls with big ugly poofy dresses, almost as bad as those pregnancy dresses girls wear in the US.

BKK Naval Ship/Mangrove forest

So my German buddy Helmut, plotted out a scooter ride to see a small military museam. We rode 30KMs South and rolled into this place with an old British scout ship. There were also some artillery bunkers and a mangrove forest on site. Not many people here at all and they let anyone walk around wherever they wanted.

LOS/LOD

They call this place the Land of Smiles because people are friendly but I call it the Land of Dipshits because people are generally stupid here. I'm told the average intelligence is 6th grade and then they go off to work menial jobs the rest of their lives. Thought I'd share some funny stories of Thai workers. The first story is mine, I found the rest on a bike forum I frequent.

1. Last week my friend went to have an aftermarket horn installed on his bike in Chinatown. It took 2 hours and multiple trips for the installer to figure out a device with only 3 cables (positive, negative, switch). I knew how to hook it up in 30 seconds. There were even instructions printed on the box but I assume these clowns couldn't read.

2. Bought a new pair of spectacles, expensive Vogue frames in Tesco's Optician's. After only a year the colour of the frame was peeling off so l took them back to the shop. Oh, must send to Bangkok for re-plating. OK, l said. 3 days latter got a call to pick up the frame. To my horror they had bought a tin of auto spray paint and sprayed the frame, and it was a different colour.

3. My driver is a classic. We made an order at Kanom, a famous pastry shop near Samitivej. He came back 30 minutes later with the order. Simple yes?? An hour later we sent him off with another order, same place, same order. Result? He came back with about 50 donuts from Foodland. WTF?? We asked him WTF he was doing and he walked off hitting himself over the head and mumbling that he was confused. My driver is a nice chap but has less common sense than my 3 year old.

4. I bought a child safety gate to stop my 9 month old from climbing the stairs. I installed it while the nanny was upstairs and when she later wandered downstairs she saw the gate, stopped, looked baffled and the spent the next 15 minutes fiddling with the child proof handle, squeezing, pushing and jerking, but unfortunately the gate had her beaten. Eventually my wife walked out if the kitchen, opened the gate and walked past the nanny. She looked absolutely amazed. Needless to say, it took my 3 year old 30 seconds to open the gate despite the fact that it takes a significant amount of leverage (for a 3 yo) to open.

5. I rented a house with a maid, she was there 3 times a week, she was watering the garden as well,,,, also when it was raining, i asked why, i have been told to water the garden,, i told here don’t have to when its raining,,, she just looked at me and told me i was not her boss, i backed off

6. Was driving to work this morning, on an open road area of Sukhumvit towards Pattaya. Coming towards me, a Guy pulled out to pass the car in front, giving me a head-on situation, Happens frequently. I pulled to the left so room for him...then a F...ing idiot decided to pass the passing car...3 cars wide heading towards me at a closing speed in excess of 200kph, and nowhere for me to go. I got a small cut on the shoulder but nothing more. Sooooo lucky!! The driver, of course, never stopped. maniac!